I would guess that it’s tough for hitchhikers to shed their crazy, murdery reputation when they all continue to look and act the same. They are a group that is forever disheveled, unclean, foul-smelling, poorly dressed, and equally poor at spelling. If I was going to hitchhike, the first thing I would do is go buy myself a very sharp business suit; something with a modern cut to it and perhaps with a subtle pinstripe. I would want passing motorists to see that this was one hitchhiker who was both reliable and responsible. Next, I definitely wouldn’t sloppily write some message on a jagged trapezoid of greasy cardboard. I would get a professionally printed sign, maybe at Kinkos. It would be one of those two-sided jobs so that the sign could be read from both directions, and I would make sure it was thoroughly spell-checked. It goes without saying that I would get my hair cut and a fresh shave. After all, being a hitchhiker today is the same as going to a job interview. You don’t hire the guy who looks like a dirtier version of Steve Buscemi, who also smells like a dumpster and has “nead ride to Chicoggo” written on his résumé in lipstick. No, you hire the clean guy in the sharp suit who has his shit together.
Steve Buscemi: Even his own limo driver won't pick him up